It has been a little more than a week since I last blogged, and I want to apologize for that. You guys should know that I have kpop songs and manga I want to write about, and I have even been nominated for an award, but honestly I just have not had time to blog. (You guys know that I use a lot of time to just write one post > < ). And I know that I always say that I do not have time. But right now it is partly because I am bad at time managing (which I am working on to improve), but also because I recently just started university.
I thought that it was obvious that I had to go through a mental transition from being a high school student to a university student. But I might have taken that gap too lightly, because I honestly feel lost right now. I thought that you had to take responsibility for your own learning in high school, but it is really in university where you have to plan everything! And if you have a bad day (which I have right now) you just have to pick yourself up and just do it one way or another.
I actually miss those chapter tests in every subject. Moreover, I really miss the closeness you have toward your teacher, and having those same classmates (even though I did not really get along with most of them). I was not actually buddy buddy with my teachers, but I would say hi to them if I saw them in the hallway or in the street, and maybe even have a little chat. You naturally gain some sort of connection to them, because they correct your test, you see them often and so on.
But in university (at least what I am studying and for this semester) you go to lectures, listen to the lecturer talk, and then go home again. Twice a week (for different subject, and for two hours) I have seminar where we do some tasks related to what the lecturer has talked about. I also do have classmates, but it consists of students taking different courses and I do not see them that often, so it is hard to get to know them (like in high school).
During this semester I have to have an oral presentation, and at the end of it I have a multiple choice test, two exam and write two thesis. I do have about three months before it all happens, and I have been quite calm about it these past weeks. But it was like some switch just got turned on today, I had a little panic/anxiety moment. I am particularly really anxious about one of the thesis I have chosen, I really regret choosing it and I am really worried on how I am going to manage it.
I do try to be positive about it, thinking that I have overcome thesis that I at that
moment felt impossible, but I am still really anxious.
This vocaloid song describes me quite well
Moreover having to get to know new people and making new friends also makes me worried. I have a little hard time making friends with the people taking the same course as me. I can talk to them and so on, but I will not call them friends, and hang with them in my spare time.
On the other hand, I have gotten closer to a girl who is a friend of me (or more like an acquaintance at the moment), who again introduces me to her friends. So I am not totally alone at university, but the negative part is that we do not take the same course (つд｀)
I did not intend this post to be so dark, but I really got to pour out my troubles. And for you readers out there having a though day as me, try listening to this song. It might not make all your worries disappear, but it is a nice reminder of not giving up and do not put yourself down, you can do it!
Tell me in the comments what you do when you have a lousy day and tips for a rookie university student is highly appreciated!